Update – I’ve Been Kicked Out of the Group

Today is day 23 of the month long writing challenge sponsored by Two Writing Teachers.  

I’ve Been Kicked out of the Group – Update

Last week I posted a slice about a student who had judged he was kicked out of the small group because he no longer needed support in a specific skill. Read here. I made the mistake of not telling the student about his “dismissal” and he reacted by telling the classroom teacher he couldn’t write because he’d been “kicked out of the group.” In my post I reflected that I had made a mistake and that I needed to ask for forgiveness from the student and have a conversation with him about my mistake. Here is a snippet of that follow-up conversation I had with the student.

So J., I need to talk to you. I made a mistake. You know how I came in the room the other day and I didn’t take you to my group? Well – I guess I should have told you. I’m sorry.

Yeah, I felt left out.

I know! I am so sorry. I probably should have had a conversation with you about it. Adults make mistakes too and you know – this is a time when I made a mistake. Can you forgive me?

Of course. Thank you.

So let’s start over and talk about why I don’t think you need to come over to my group. You see you are now a writer that can work independently. I need to spend some time with other children that your teacher thinks need more help. Are you o.k. with that? Can you work at your seat during workshop time?

Well, I kinda like sitting near the word wall. I like to make sure my spelling is perfect.

Oh I see. Well anytime you need to come closer to the word wall you most certainly can come by to see better. But I was also wondering since you now are such a focused writer, could you share a few tips to stay focused on your writing? Maybe you could be their teacher, since you are an expert at this now!

Really? Me? Yes! of course!

Great. Lets talk next time I come in and we can make a plan. And by the way, thanks for being such a good sport about accepting my mistake. We all make them and we just need to ask for forgiveness and move on! Thanks!

No problem Mrs B. See you next time.

Boy did that feel right!  I think what I discovered is that there is always a way to go back and make right with a child.  And surprisingly enough it usually ends up better the second time around! 

2 Replies to “Update – I’ve Been Kicked Out of the Group”

  1. I'm so proud of you for apologizing. It is a HUGE thing with kids and often adults seem to feel funny about saying “I'm sorry, I was wrong” to kids. What a way to turn things around with that kiddo.

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