I like to be prepared.
I like to come ready to learn.
I like to know what to expect.
Well, life doesn’t always work that way as I discovered once again this past Saturday when the course that was scheduled to begin next week was suddenly moved up by one week.
That meant I didn’t have time to order the materials,
Nor read the required texts,
Nor look over the notes.
I was left feeling slightly agitated, and extremely unprepared. I stumbled through the session because my brain wasn’t where it should be. My compliant side was out of sorts, wondering whether I’d be caught not completing all the must dos before attending. Even after leaving the class, and into the midnight hours, I worried needlessly about how I could catch up.
I stewed about it until I entered the parking lot at school this morning and shared my thoughts with a colleague. “Chris, you have to learn to forgive yourself. It wasn’t your fault you had no time to get the book for the class.” she counseled.
Forgive myself? The words seemed challenging and simple at the same time. Yes, I said to myself, I do need to forgive myself. I walked into the school and thought about what was just said, “forgive yourself.” I really didn’t have much choice other than attend the first session without reading. I wasn’t to blame so why was I being so hard on myself? The words of my colleague rang true. Forgive yourself. As I began to listen and heed her advice a sense of peace came over me as if a burden had been lifted off my shoulders. And with those wise words came a freedom to move forward, and look ahead to the next class with hope and anticipation.
It’s Tuesday and I’m joining the fabulous writers in the Two Writing Teachers Community. Thank you for giving us this space to practice, write and share.