I tend to worry about things… big things and little things. Most of the time the big things I worry about suddenly and magically turn into little things. My husband would call these issues useless anxiety.
Today was filled with worries. I had a jammed packed day scheduled: finish plans and meet with two fourth grade small groups, three writing and reading coordinators meetings, and a wrap up meeting to discuss the work accomplished this year on a conventions team. I was booked from 8:30 – 4pm, tightly packed with 20 minutes in the middle for lunch. NO worries I got this. I said to myself when I awoke. But then…
7:45 am voicemail from the electric company: We are turning off your power for 90 minutes starting at 9:00 am. I was panicked. I made a few phone calls to confirm the change of plans, sent several emails to inform parents of possible disruption in schedule, and drafted messages to teacher leaders letting them know I may be late or maybe even a no show. Yes, my stomach was churning and I was growing in anxiety as the power clicked off 20 minutes late at 9:20am.
And guess what? Another case of useless anxiety as the power came back on early at 10:00.
I was left with a moment before my next meeting to think. My problems were an inconvenience. ONLY an inconvenience. How could I let such inconsequential things get me in a knot? Today the world is swirling with a mega-storm of crises, and I worry about a few inconveniences? I felt ashamed with these thoughts.
Who am I to worry about such minor inconveniences when I have the funds to pay for and have electricity?
Who am I to worry about such minor inconveniences when I have job that pays the bills?
Who am I to worry about such minor inconveniences when I have a roof over my head with a nice view?
Who am I to worry about such minor inconveniences when my skin color allows me so many conveniences and opportunities?
Who am I to worry about such minor inconveniences when I can walk down a street and not be concerned with someone wondering why I am wandering in the neighborhood?
Who am I to worry about such minor inconveniences?
Today I am counting my blessings, and I am also realizing that I do live a privileged life. I need to step out and speak up for those that do not have such luxuries. I need to stand up for those that have no voice, no power, no life because yes, everyday black lives matter and my little worries don´t really matter.
It´s Tuesday and I am joining the wonderful team of writers over at Two Writing Teachers. We share our slice of life stories every week. Take a peek and consider joining in!