How Should I Feel?

It’s Tuesday and I’m joining the writing community over at Two Writing Teachers.  Won’t you consider joining us as well?

How Should I Feel?



After five years without you

How should I feel?

Should I feel sad

for the lack of hugs and kisses?

Should I feel blessed

for the mountains of memories we shared?

Should I feel lonely

especially when I crawl into bed each night?

Should I feel joyful

when I see your sparkle in the eyes of our grandchildren?

Should I feel bitter

for the goals and vacations not realized?

Should I feel hopeful

for the legacy you left behind in your children?

Should I feel proud

when I hear people speak of you so fondly?


How should I feel?



13 Replies to “How Should I Feel?”

  1. I love and needed this poem. It speaks so much to my own feelings two and a half years after losing my husband of 50+ years. It’s also good for me to know that these feelings persist. I so empathize with you in your loss.

    And I think the word “should” is a challenge to that idea of “should.” And can I share this poem with the bereavement group I meet with monthly?

    1. Of course you can share! I’d be honored!
      I too belong to a life giving monthly grief group. Where are you from? And what else have you used for materials?

  2. This is such a beautiful post, brimming with love for your husband and also with the pain of loss and the struggles of grieving. Your title is especially apt. We each come to terms with loss in our own ways. I like the analogy that Margaret shared comparing grief to the ocean and waves. I’ve often thought that grief is like an intense earthquake–the landscape is forever changed and there are periodic aftershocks and an ongoing sense of vulnerability/insecurity. Yet the scenery is still beautiful, albeit different. I’m so terribly sorry for your loss and hope that the mountain of memories comforts you. Thank you for sharing.

  3. Thank you for this vulnerable post. I love how in your poem all of your feelings become questions – as though you cannot trust your emotions on their own – followed by concrete descriptions that feel solid and real. I am sorry, too, for your loss, and impressed by your bravery.

  4. This is a brave post. I think that it is courageous to put out there what you really feel. I also echo that I am sorry to hear of your loss.

  5. This is a brave and vulnerable post. I’m so sorry for your loss. I hope writing helps you sort through the confusing feelings. I once heard that grief is like the waves of an ocean, sometimes they gently wash over you and sometimes they knock you down.

  6. Your poem spoke loudly to me as I felt how much you must miss your husband. All of your feelings are valid and they must change from day to day. Thank you for sharing a glimpse into your life.

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